


Stan's

by thisisashittyusername



Category: Gravity Falls, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Gen, alex and ariel have summer fun by stan's, and get into so much trouble, and no stan does not have a business its just a normal wooden shack home, and no their grandfather does not have a secret brother, and they save the world somehow??, basically gravity falls but featuring ariel and alex, but there may be a devil somewhere in there named, cipher, idk man, this is fiction so like this isnt accurate duh, with the fucking devil i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 10:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11102202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisashittyusername/pseuds/thisisashittyusername
Summary: Little did Alex and Ariel know that one summer would have the power to change their entire lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i dont really know where this will go this might be shit

When Alex and Ariel visit their grandpa's for the summer, they can't stop the smiles on their faces. "He's the absolute best," their father had told them, in the car. "You are going to have so much fun. He'll take good care of you guys."

Their dad flashes them a smile of his own before turning the keys, killing the engine. He gets out of the car to get their things. Their mom opens the door for them, and they shuffle out awkwardly, long limbs and adolescent acne and all. "Call, okay, babies?" their mother coos at them, and Ariel laughs as she bats a wandering, tickling hand away.

"Mom!" she yells, in good humor. "Stop calling us babies, we're not five!"

"Oh, really?" Her mom replies, with a sassy hand on her hip. "Then who's been doing my Lamby-Lamb Dances back at home? Aren't those my sweet, little babies?"

"No, Mom," Alex laughs. "They're a couple of thirteen-year olds you won't let grow up!"

"Oh, darlings, if it were up to me, you'd be five forever," their mother sighs, and holds them close for a hug. "But no matter how old you get, you'll always still be my babies."

Ariel huffs, but smiles as she pulls her mother closer to her. "Not if my awkward teen limbs have anything to say about that."

Alex agrees when he shifts and suddenly feels sweaty.

Darn adolescence. He needs a shower.

A man in his early 50's suddenly comes out of the wooden hut. "Hey, who's making so much noise out here?" a gritty, masculine voice calls out. The man is wearing a maroon robe, and a dirty tank top and loose boxers underneath. Alex yelps in surprise, and somehow, thanks the high heavens he wasn't the only gross one around here. No way he's gonna go near that.

But their dad just drops their luggage and runs toward the man, arms outstretched, joyous.

"Stan!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i just have the idea for the ending but not at all abt their summer so like
> 
> wooh time for u to sit through me make up stuff about a great magical summer

“You free spirits don’t be too free now, alright?” Their dad calls out from inside the car. “Don’t give your Grandpa Stan a hard time.”

Alex rolls his eyes, but smiles at his parents. “Yeah, dad. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of Ariel.”

“ _’I’ll take care of Ariel’_ ,” Ariel repeats, mockingly, before nudging her brother with a playful smile. “You forget, Broseph. I’m the Alpha Twin.”

“Find another bad nickname, my name’s not even Joseph,” Alex starts, but Ariel ignores her. She faces toward their parents and screams at them. “Don’t mess with my pig shrine while we’re out, okay?!”

Their father turns to their mother with an exaggerated, open-mouthed frown. Their mother mirrors it. “Ohhhh, noooooo, Caaaaaas,” their father groans. “She’s found out our secret plaaaaaaan.”

Everyone starts laughing.

“Keep a shot of whiskey out for the leprechauns, baby!” their mother calls out to Alex when the car starts. “These trees look like they’re hiding a magical creature or two!” She winks at them.

“I’ll bring it home if I catch one!”

“Bye, kids!” their parents say, finally, and the car drives out.

“Bye, mom!” Ariel shouts, jumping up and down. “Bye, dad!”

They watch the car until it disappears into the thickness of trees.

 

Warm, firm hands suddenly place themselves on the twin’s shoulders. Alex yelps, his voice cracking.

“Yeesh, kid,” Stan says from behind him. The old man’s eyes are wide, as if he’d been shocked by Alex’s reaction. “Calm down. It’s just me.”

Ariel laughs at Alex. “Alpha Twin! Alpha Twin! Alpha Twin,” she cheers for herself.

Alex clears his throat, and lamely tries to laugh it off. “Th-that wasn’t me, that was the goat!” He points at a goat nearby, and the goat bleats at him as if incredulous.

“Yeaaaaaah,” Stan drawls out, brow raised. “I don’t think so.”

Ariel and Stan share a look.

“So, kids,” Stan says, when Alex starts sputtering out more bad excuses. “What’d you wanna do today?”

“Maybe we can go around town and check it out!” Ariel suggests helpfully. “We haven’t been here for a while.”

“Yeah, or we can just stay at home, take it easy,” Alex also suggests, shrugging. “It _is_ our first day over. No point tiring out our Grandpa-”

“Woah, kid.” Stan suddenly interjects. “Call me Stan. Please. No one around here needs to know how high up I am in our family tree. I can easily pass off as thirty- you don’t have to ruin that for me.”

Ariel grins up at Stan goofily. “ _Thirty_? Psh-”

Stan cuts her off. “Yes. Yup. Thirty. _Yes._ No negotiations, young lady.”

Ariel laughs.

“Okay, _Stan_ ,” Alex corrects, with a stress on the name. “I guess we can adapt to what you do usually.”

“What _do_ you do usually?”Ariel asks. She continues, with a discerning squint toward Stan’s direction, “Those gold chains tell me a lot. You look like a gambler. Or a mafia boss. Are you a mafia boss, Stan?”

“What? No,” the old man quickly answers.

“You answered too quickly.” Ariel squints even more. “Let me repeat the question,” she says, bringing an index finger to her chin. “ _Are you a mafia boss, Stan?_ ”

Stan glances over to Alex with wide eyes. Alex just shrugs. “Just play along,” he advises.

Stan keeps his mouth shut for a few seconds before answering. “…Nooo?”

Ariel scowls. “Too slow.”

“Okay, Ariel, let it go,” Alex waves her off.

“ _I’m watching you, Hirsch,_ ” Ariel tells Stan, as she walks backwards, never once removing her eyes from Stan. Stan’s eyes are blown wide.

“Nevermind her, Stan,” Alex tells him. “She’s just very… theatrical. As you’ll come to notice in the next few months.”

Stan looks at Ariel. “Well, I don’t know what these gold chains are monologue-ing  in your ear, kid,” he says, covering them with his shirt, “but I’m not a gambler. Or a mafia boss.” He puckers his bottom lip out in thought. “…I do watch movies, usually.”

Ariel considers this. “…What kinds of movies?”

“Suspense. Thrillers.” Stan shrugs. “We can check the pile inside.”

“I’ll go get the popcorn!” Ariel shouts happily, running into the house.

“Popcorn? I don’t have popcorn,” the older man says.

“Oh, yeah,” Alex agrees. “ _We_ do, though.”

“You brought popcorn over? For your summer with me? You kids are weird,” Stan laughs. “But also looks like you have your priorities listed down alright.”

“Too bad you’re too _normal_ for us, Stan,” Alex mock sighs, brushing his nails on his shirt and looking at them (apparently doing that made you look nonchalant, Ariel in all her _extra-ness_ , had told him once). “Mafia boss or gambler would’ve been great.”

Stan chuckles, looking at Alex darkly. “It’s not great, it’s _basic._ What fight does mafia boss or gambler put up against _cult leader?_ ”

 

Alex is taken aback.

“Wai- what?!”

“We call ourselves the Royal Order of the Holy Mackarel,” Stan supplies with a shrug.

“You’re pulling my leg, right?” Alex asks worriedly.

“We take it upon ourselves to rid the world of the demons that plague it,” Stan drones on. He grins suddenly, shooting Alex with finger pistols. “Hail the resistance,” he says, before going into the shack and slamming the screen door shut.

 

Stan laughs so loud that Alex hears it from outside.

 

It takes a moment for Alex to realize that he’d been tricked. “Well played, man,” he says, with an appreciative smile, before following inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what if it is a real cult, alex?  
> lololol
> 
> :^)


End file.
